Oct. 7, 2007
So, it had been more than two months since we last played-
two months!- so of course the first thing we did was ask ourselves, “How do you play this game again?” We spent the better part of the night reading various rulebooks and character sheets (“Oh, look, I have a high AC!” ... “Yeah? What’s an AC?”)
After a while, I realized I was what they called the “DM,” and that I was actually supposed to be “runnning the adventure.” Who needs rules, I said, let’s play this game.
So our heroes had conveniently ended their last session in the Barrow at a great stopping place where they could bunker down and heal up. (“Didn’t we kill some stuff last time?” “Yeah, like a dragon? Or maybe an owlbear?” Turns out it was a hobgoblin and some skeletons.) They had been pursuing some grave robbers who were mysteriously well stocked with muscle and magic. The trail led them directly to…
...a bizarre cavern whose floor was compsed of a series of 50-foot-tall “islands” connected by tenuous ropes. Fall off one of these, and you’ve got a long fall into a little bit of water.
Which, of course, the dwarf did. (He had even removed his clunky armor.) Once Redgar landed in the drink, a stand of tendons and eyeballs wrapped around his neck trying to strangle him. Could have been a bad day, but Lucas shimmied down a rope to help fend off the Lurking Strangler. How to get the great lump of warrior back up to safety? A little Oil of Levitate to turn him into a Macy’s T-Day balloon should do the trick.
And just like that, the party was ready to face…The Labyrinth! If you’re like me, you are immensley bored and annoyed by any suggestion that you should keep a party on pins and needles by putting them in an endless, aimless maze populated by tons of random monsters and no real point. So I made a compromise: Magical sentry statues at the mouth of the maze offered the party direct passage if they pledged to fight off the grave robbers who directly preceded them. Two catches: The extra-planar monsters who would be summoned within could not be prevented from attacking; and the “unclean one” had to crawl on hands and knees; that meant Lucas, the Would-Be Wererat, was out of action. The direct passage meant only a few monsters would get a swipe at the team, and verily, a Monstrous and/or Fiendish scorpion, wolverine, and weasel took turns taking chunks out of the team, but nothing made our heroes break a sweat. Particularly that wolverine; it fell apart at the word “Appalachia”...Ho, ho, just kidding Redgar & Mia!
And then…we were all sweepy. This is what happens when you play after your kids go to bed: You start yearning for your pillow yourself. And thus, with our heroes about to discover some really interesting things about their quarry, and with a few nicely nasty encounters ready to brighten the day, we retreated to our homes, our beds, our normal lives completely devoid of hobgoblin necromancers, lurking stranglers and spider-filled mummies. ...Did he just say “spider-filled mummies”? Oh, no he din’t!